What to Say
When It Matters Most

Writing Your Speech

Less Performance, More Presence

Most people overthink the speech. They want it to be poetic and profound and beautifully structured. But the proposals that get the most emotional response are almost never the ones with the most impressive words. They're the ones that feel real.

Here's what actually matters when you speak: that your partner hears something only you could say about them, about the two of you, about why this moment is happening right now.

A Simple Structure That Works

You don't need a script. But having a rough structure helps when your heart is racing and your hands are shaking. Try this:

• A specific memory: Start with one moment that made you realise. Not a general statement – a real, specific scene. "I knew when we were sitting on that bench in Lisbon and you laughed at something that wasn't even funny."
• What you love about them: One or two genuine, personal observations. Not "you're beautiful" – something only someone who truly knows them would notice.
• What your future looks like: Keep it simple. Where you're going. What you want to build together.
• The question: Short, direct, eye contact.

What to Avoid

• Reading from your phone. Even glancing at it breaks the spell.
• Overly formal or "poetic" language that doesn't sound like you.
• Going too long. 60–90 seconds is ideal. Less is often more.
• Apologising mid-speech for being nervous. Everyone knows you're nervous. It's endearing. Don't narrate it.

Should You Memorise It?

Not word for word. Know the four beats above by heart, and then let the actual words come naturally in the moment. Trying to recall an exact script adds stress and can make you sound stilted. Trust yourself. You know this person better than anyone.